no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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