so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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