OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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