Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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