the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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