That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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