I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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