whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize