I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
