Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
