I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize