heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just got carded by a ten year old.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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