he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
