And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize