It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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