# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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