On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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