you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
