there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
