the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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