youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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