the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
