My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize