did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
