i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
