My sheets look like a crime scene.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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