Pappa wants mamma naked
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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