my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
