I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
