Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so that wasnt chicken after all
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
