Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
