we're blogging at a bar
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
