You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
