That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
