But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Sober January is a disaster.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
