Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
