You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
