I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
