why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
we should paint friendship bongs
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