I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
