btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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