I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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