dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
