apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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