i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
