franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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