There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
