Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize