I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
