Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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