LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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