not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
