this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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