apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
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