I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
