Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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