The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
