I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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