So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
