SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
