Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
