He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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