STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
