My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
