I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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