Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
