every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Will exercising make me less horny?
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