she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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