This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
