I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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