the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
