youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
