is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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