I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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