i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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