If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's shark week go big or go home
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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